Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

 

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

 

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

 

In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

I think I could be friends with Caroline Reynolds. She’s smart, witty, has a fabulous career, and a weird relationship with her Kitchen Aid mixer, which I can actually relate to. Thanks to a machine-gun shagger, she has lost her ‘O’. He can give her a five percent discount on all the pizza she wants, but he stole her ‘O’. That doesn’t exactly seem like a fair trade to me.

 

She’s frustrated, annoyed, and orgasmless, so needless to say the last thing she needs to hear the first night in her new apartment is her neighbor banging the wall and spanking his bed buddy. Sadly, the banging continues night after night until Caroline can’t take it anymore, so armed only with her pink nightie, she decides to bang on Simon’s door. Now she’s unable to get him out of her mind.

 

Oh Simon, you (not so wee) beastie, you. I think I may have fallen just a little bit in love with you, Simon Parker. He’s handsome, mysterious, has an odd obsession with dessert breads, and is a freelance photographer—what’s not to love? And apparently he’s an Adonis in bed. Simon has a sensitive side as well. He likes Glen Miller played on a record player (if I’m being honest, he had me at vinyl) and he collects sand from every place he’s been.  

 

Okay, so he may have a mini harem of women (if three woman a harem make) he shags at the start of the book, but once he realizes Caroline is the woman he can’t stop thinking about, he breaks away from his harem and starts to forge an honest relationship with Caroline. I really wished that Simon’s POV was included because I would have loved to have known what he was thinking.

 

Wallbanger has to be one of the funniest books I’ve read for a while filled with an outstanding cast of characters. Brimming with sexual tension, witty banter, and sexual innuendo, I found that I could not put it down. Each page was better than the last and the pacing was fantastic.

 

A very sexy romantic comedy that had me laughing until the very last page. It was a hot little read, Simon definitely makes your panties melt, but I wouldn’t consider it erotic. It’s more naughty humor than erotic reading.

 

Overall, this book will result in sidesplitting laughter, toe curling, and a desire to bake dessert bread. 

Snippets from Simon’s Harem

Spanks 

“Mmm…yes, baby, yes, yes, yes!” the loudmouth chanted…and concluded with a contented sigh.

Then I heard, for the love of all that’s holy, spanking. You can’t misinterpret the sound of a good spanking, and someone was receiving one next door.

“Oh, God, Simon. Yes. I’ve been a bad girl. Yes, yes!”

 

Purina (also known as Clive’s true love)

“Meow! Oh, God. Me-yow!”

The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?

Clive, at this point, went bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He as literally climbing it, trying to get to where the noise was coming from and adding his own meows to the chorus.

“Oooh yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmm…meow, meow, meow!”

Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of the wall tonight.

Giggler

“Oh, God.”

Thump

“Oh, God.”

Thump, thump.

Mimi and Sophia looked at Clive and me. We just shook our heads—both of us, really. A slow smile spread across Sophia’s face. I focused on the voice coming through the wall. It was different…The pitch was lower, and well, I couldn’t really make out exactly what she was saying. It wasn’t Spanks or Purina.

“Mmm, Simon—giggle—right—giggle-hee haw—fuck, yes!”

She was giggling. She was a dirty, dirty giggler.

Book Details

Title: Wallbanger
The Cocktail Series

Author: Alice Clayton

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 9781476741185

Formats: Trade paperback, e-book, audiobook

$16.00

How I Read It: Trade paperback from Publisher

Rating: 4.5 Cups

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